IN ORDER

10. Big Bang – Stupid Liar

Why G-Dragon WHY??? I guess this hurts a lot because I love Big Bang and when they fuck up it’s the end of the world and I have to look at my poster and wonder if stanning them is really worth it. The only good part of this song is the ooo ooo’s at the beginning. It should’ve ended there.

9. Bubble Pop- Hyuna

Hyuna can't sing or rap let's get that straight. She's great to look at though (neck down). This song kind of sounded hastily slapped together and the tudsted break in the middle was unnecessary and annoying.

8. Tell Them - Block B

This is supposed to be real hip hop? Lol.

7. Hands Up - 2PM

Remember how we thought things couldn't get worse than I'll Be There? They just did. From the off key vocals, to the blatant rip off of High High this entire affair was a MESS.

6. The Boys - SNSD

Duboise, duboise, duboise, duboise, duboise, duboise. Where do I begin? First we have the hot in 2001 production to the ridiculously awful and five steps backwards Korean lyrics, to the embarrassing promotional outfits. This brought the boys out, to kill themselves.

5. Message - MyName

I still don't understand why anyone signed off on this

4. Rocket Girl - Stellar

Vocals worse than CO-ED and dubstep more hollow than deadmau5? It's fucking possible, and it's horrifying.

1, 2, and 3(These are all so bad to make one worse than the other would take away from how truly terrible the others are)

Mr. Simple - Super Junior

Part 3 in the god awful song trilogy that started with Sorry Sorry, Mr. Simple begins to slowly hammer the last nail in Super Junior's dusty raggedy coffin.

A Cha - Super Junior

Have you noticed how they cut themselves off really quickly in the beginning lines? It should have ended there. All of it.

Oppa Oppa - Donghae and Eunhyuk

Can I just say that I feel sorry for anyone that will ever call Eunhyuk oppa. I am shuddering right now. Those vinyl suits, the shitty dance moves, the use of the word Holla, I know you're not trying to be corny on purpose I see right through you, and now I want to poke my eyes out and stab my ears with skewers.

btw this is not in order, except for no 1

1. Open The Window - Seungri ft G-Dragon

2011 started out with Seungri's long anticipated and surprised mini album. Open the window is a sweet, romantic, and sexy made unforgettable by the combination of G-Dragon's slick flow and Seungri's subdued vocals. Shame we never got to see it live.
Ideal for: Last ditch efforts to get into a hottie's pants (or room).

2. Mirror Mirror - 4Minute

4Minute delivers another egotistical pussy popper with mirror mirror, showcasing the vocal and "rapping" talents of all members.
Ideal for: Getting ready before going out to conquer shit and be a boss bitch.

3. Roly-Poly - T-ara

T-ara's Roly Poly is a fun saccharine anthem to insects (whatever I don't know Korean).
Ideal for: Dancing by yourself.

4. Hate You - 2NE1

Originally titled Fuck You, Hate You is another in a long line of "Namjas aint shit" songs by 2NE1. It's angry without sounding harsh, remaining beautiful in its reproclamation of self and dignity.
Ideal for: Prep music for breaking up with your ex (or any foul motherfucker in your life.)

5. Be My Baby - The Wonder Girls

The Wonder Girls came back for full Korean promotions with this bubbly synth filled jam.
Ideal for: Psyching yourself up for one day asking out the hottie you see at the train station every day.

6. Trouble Maker - Jay Stomp and Hyuna

Ignoring JayStomp's ridiculous name and awkward dick thrusts this sexy jazzy duet is sure to make you boogie and try desperately to whistle the tune.
Ideal for: Drunken strip teases

7. Cafe- Big Bang

Cafe showcases and highlights the talents of all Big Bang member's from TOP's fast paced rapping to G-Dragon's impossibly high falsetto and Daesung's smooth throaty vocals in this tragically beautiful dedication to a failed relationship.
Ideal for: Getting over your ex.

8. Fiction - Beast

Another ballad about the end of a relationship, Fiction, showcases Beast at their very best.
Ideal for: Crying alone in the dark

9. Hot Summer - f(x)

F(x) delivers their best song to date in this ode to summer time.
Ideal for: Complaining about the heat wave last summer.


10. Dr Feel Good - Rania

The pussy popper of all pussy poppers, Dr Feel Good combined a catchy hook with drug references and full on vaginal thrusts.
Ideal for: Popping your pussy at the club, whoring yourself out for one more hit.

i wrote this last year, and it is dedicated to my dearest friend, johnnyride

Shin Ding Dong
One night Shindong was feeling extra hungry. He invited all the members of Shinee over for a banquet at his house. The Shinee members accepted quickly because SM had been starving them in preparation for their new video. Taemin reminded the group with apprehension, “But we can’t eat after five!”

Minho responded angrily, “Shut it Taemin, I’m fucking hungry as hell son.”

Onew being the leader ultimately held the decision in his hands. “We will go to Shindong’s, but if Taemin is so scared of eating after five he can stay home.”

Taemin was very happy for he could stay home and finally watch the special videos that Changmin was always meaning to send him.
The rest of the boys got ready and went to Shindong’s house. They were very hungry and they knew Shindong had all the best food in South Korea.

“I wonder if the rest of Super Junior will be at the banquet,” Key said as their chaffeur drove at dangerously high speeds to the banquet.
Jonghyun shrugged, “If they’re not, more food for us.”

When they arrived at Shindong’s house they were all very excited. Shindong greeted them with an “OOGA OOGA!”

Onew felt a bit apprehensive about entering the home, for Shindong was a very scary fat person, but since the other members of the band were so hungry, he agreed to go inside. Shindong immediately offered the boys drinks, they were also very thirsty.

“Damn son, dis house be fly as hell,” Minho said as he explored the home.

“Oh thank you thank you,” Shindong said as he led them towards the kitchen.

Key looked around, “Where is everyone?”

“Oh,” Shindong chuckled, “They went out for a little ride.”

“Where’s the food, I’m starving!” Jonghyun complained.

Shindong closed the door behind them padlocking them shut in the kitchen. “You” he said as he reached for a knife, “Are the food.”

“Oh shit son,” Minho said as he realized what was happening. “Well fuck you den!” Minho tried to stike Shindong but found himself on the floor. “What da fuck son?”

“Those drinks were drugged,” Shindong laughed.

Onew pleaded, “Please, don’t kill us like this.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll only rape you,” he responded calmly.

“MY VIRGIN ASS!” Key shouted.

“You first, ooga ooga,” Shindong said as he pulled down his pants.

Key began to thrash on the floor as Shindong anally raped him. He frequently shouted ooga ooga in fiendish delight.

“Yo son, when my Hyungs find out about dis dey gonna fuck you up son,” Minho threatened.

“Ha Ha,” Shindong laughed as he thrust into Key’s non-virgin asshole. “Kangin has already taken care of that. I gave him plenty of Soju for the ride.”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Minho shouted as he realized he was fucked son.

Jonghyu was crying, his sobs louder than Key’s fake screams of pain. Onew looked at Jonghyu intensely, “Don’t cry, it will be okay, we will be okay.”

“No we won’t you dumb fuck!” Jonghyu exclaimed, “I should’ve stayed home with Taemin, I knew there was a reason why we can’t eat after five!”

“Ugh fuck this I’m hungry,” Shindong said. He grabbed Key by the face and bit his ear off.

Key screamed bloody murder as Shindong chewed. He turned on the radio and Cooking? Cooking! Was playing. It perfectly accentuated the mood.

Shindong first cut up Key’s body, tossing his peewees in the garbage because they were too chewy.

ICON POAST



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w/e these are l8. make requests for kpops u want me to make gifs! link me to youtubes and ill try to make it happen~